Considerations for Divorcing Parties

Custody and Parenting Time



Be realistic about what is best for your children. Spending time with the other parent is usually best.

Don’t alienate your children from your spouse.

Let your children spend extra time with your spouse/ex-spouse if you are not able to personally care for them.

Don’t speak poorly about your spouse and his/her family in front of your children. 

Jointly parent your children whenever possible. Keep your spouse in the loop about your children’s activities.

Don’t discuss your case with your children or within earshot of your children. 

Put your animosity aside for the benefit of  our children. 

Don’t ask your children to relay messages between you and our spouse or ask your children to “spy.”

If you feel that it would be helpful, engage in short term family or individual counseling to help transition your family.

Don’t be unreasonably ridged with the schedule. Remember, what goes around comes around.

Speak only positively about your spouse.  you may have good reasons to hate  your spouse but try to keep your children out of it.

Don’t move out of the home you have shared with your spouse without a concrete plan for seeing your children.




Make a list of assets for your lawyer and indicate any you believe to be separate property (inheritances, gifts to you, items owned before marriage).

Don’t make major life changes or major purchases until the divorce is final. 

Promptly provide your lawyer with any requested documentation and answer any discovery requests completely and on time.

Don’t mix non-marital and marital property (i.e. refinance to put your spouse’s name on nonmarital property). 

Maintain your property to maximize its value.

Don’t buy, sell, or destroy real estate or property without discussing it with your lawyer first.

If you plan on leaving the marital residence, make a plan with your lawyer  about what separate and marital assets to remove from your home.

Don’t play games with discovery. Expect to give and receive full financial disclosure.

Make your own copies of important financial documents, such as tax returns, mortgage information, titles to property, bank and investment statements and store them in a safe location.

Don’t spend money on your girlfriend or boyfriend. Don’t squander marital funds. 

Don’t hide any assets.


Don’t take money out of your retirement fund or children’s accounts.


Don’t argue over insignificant personal property.




Maintain the status quo in terms of monthly payments unless your lawyer tells you to do otherwise.

Don’t run up credit card debt.

Pay the minimum amount due.

Don’t pay off your credit cards without speaking with your lawyer.


Keep a paper trail.

Don’t charge things you don’t want your spouse to know about. Those statements are subject to discovery.

a credit report.

hide any assets.

Treat Your Spouse During the Case




Be civilized.

Don’t share information about your dating or romantic encounters with your spouse during your divorce.


If you continue to live with your spouse, set a healthy example for your children and do not engage in fighting with your spouse.

Don’t argue over the phone or leave angry voicemails for your spouse. Remember that anything you say can be used as evidence later.


Walk away from fights.

Don’t send angry or threatening text messages or emails to your spouse. Remember that anything you put in writing can be used as evidence later.


Utilize email to communicate with your spouse as much as possible. Try to avoid telephone and in person conversations while tensions are high.

Don’t threaten to quit your job or financially cut off your spouse if you are the primary breadwinner.



Don’t cancel health or other insurance policies during the case.








Start your single life with new contracts for cellphone, utility services, etc. in your name only.

Don’t communicate with your lawyer or discuss your case on  our work computer.

Change email, banking, social media and other passwords to ones your spouse won’t know and cannot guess.

Don’t install spyware on your spouse’s computer.

Use available encryption software to protect all of your devices and communications.

Don’t use keystroke trackers.


Don’t destroy any potential evidence on your hard drives or online (files, social media postings, or emails), without talking with your lawyer first. 



Don’t use technology to fake evidence.